I think I'm read to talk about it.

I think this experience is finally funny to me, and I would like to blab about it. Perhaps a few of you can relate ... well it centers around the joys of WIC checks. Let me preface by saying I am SO grateful for them; not having to worry about my family's meals is an incredible blessing to us, and I love living in a country that takes such good care of those getting started in the real world. That being said, these WIC checks are a PAIN. Each time you get checks you have to sit through an hour or so of classes telling you that "whole grains are good for you" and other little gems of wisdom. Now, if you don't know that, then thank heavens you're finally being told! But does anyone seriously not know that? And then, when using the checks at a grocery store, you are a ridiculous burden to EVERYONE around you. The checker groans when they see you walk up with your little booklet, the people behind you attempt to stare daggers into your skull . . . I think the only thing saving me is my adorable son; he generally grins at everyone and deflates the situation.

Well I had just gotten my first batch of baby food checks. Exciting! I couldn't believe how much they gave me; there were about ten checks each having 6-15 jars of baby food, depending on what it is. I knew that I might mess this up because you have to make sure you've got the ounces right, so I had a store clerk come help me out. She pointed out the ones I could get, and so I started to load up. It takes a good 10 minutes or so; it was my first time ever buying baby food and I took my time soaking it all in.

I scan the lines of check out stands, attempting to read each clerk's aura and decipher who would be nicest. Of course the length of their line is an issue; I don't want to be first, have a billion people line up behind me and then hate me . . . but I couldn't resist this gal. She had just opened up, she looked like she knew what she was doing (very important when you approach them with checks) and seemed nice enough.

She wasn't nice.

She literally sighed and furrowed her brows when she saw all my checks, and I apologized like I generally do. Gads I hate feeling like that poor, young, irresponsible burden to society. Well then people start to line up behind me and she says rather roughly, "No, no. Don't come here. This person is going to take forever, this line is closed." And she flips off her light, takes my checks and starts shaking her head and tapping her toe. Gee. I even organized all the food as I was putting it on, making sure it stayed with its appropriate check.

After some grumbling, she starts putting it through. The bagger was very sweet, she tried to make small talk with me and oogled at Mac. Suddenly the checker groans and says, "Hey you did this wrong. All this food is the wrong stuff. You have to go back and start over." AAaaaah. I feel stupid and suddenly hateful to whoever that worker was that helped me pick it out ... but what do you do?

I head back to the aisle and find the right ones (which happened to be 2nd foods, which doesn't make sense) and start loading up again, attempting to be very quick this time. Mac had started to get fussy and was chewing on his binky. (Not sucking, chewing; like he bites the plastic edges.) Suddenly he makes the oddest squeal I've ever heard. I snap to attention and find his binky is wedged sideways in his mouth; as in the plastic part that would stretch across the corners of his mouth had it been in its proper place, was now wedged straight up and down, wrapped around his little gums. Now one of my worst fears growing up has always been my jaw breaking off (I have no idea why) so panic grips me as I imagine how tightly stretched his little mouth is! I yank and twist and FINALLY get it out, and then attempt to wrestle him out of his car seat to cuddle him.

Well of course he is screaming, and a young teenage worker holding two big bags comes up and asks if I'd like any help finding anything. Mildly annoyed I say, "No, I'm fine." Then he tries to be good-natured and continues: "Well you probably know all this way better than I do. Up front some stupid lady tried to buy all this food but got the wrong stuff, so they want me to come put it all back! I have no idea where any of this goes!"

A thousand thoughts run through my mind ... laugh? Help? Tell him the truth? Show him where they all go, because I definitely do know. Well I settled for a strained, "Good luck" and whipped the last of the foods into my cart, and headed back to the front, still bouncing Mac on my hip. GOOD GRIEF.

The checker was waiting for me, still tapping her toe and rolling her eyes. Luckily we got them all through without a hitch, and after being at the grocery store a grand two hours I finally get my poor little guy home.

But hey, he's got food. And I will never forget how to do baby food on WIC checks.