Family of Five

You know ... we were not planning this baby.

But I have to admit, I really feel like it was meant to be.

I mean, I was having dreams about babies.  I was almost jealous of my doula clients.  My arms just felt kinda achy.

Those feelings did feel spontaneous and rash however, and my logical mind told me that this was not the best timing.

So much for that.

But once I found out we were expecting our third, things immediately fell into place.

I was hesitant to tell Mark ... I didn't want to add to the mountain of stress he had been feeling.  I mean, he had only just stopped pacing at night, and I didn't want that to start up again.  When I first took the pregnancy test, I decided I would wait about a month or so, just to be sure things were feeling steady at the office for him.

That lasted all of two days.

I just ... I couldn't look him in the eye when he came home.  I am not much of a secret keeper, especially when it comes to my husband (or sister).  I felt like all my conversations with him were drowned out by the booming voice in my head hollering, "WE'RE HAVING A BABY AND YOU AREN'T READY."  I was completely torn between letting him focus on building his business ... and doing this pregnancy together.

Then one afternoon, I was making sandwiches.  The kids were in the other room.  He came and stood by me and just looked at me.  Looked through me.  I could feel myself blush.

"So ..." I started.

Try again.  "So, I have a secret."

"You're pregnant."  He immediately answers.

Is he joking?  Because I'm not ... "Yes. Yes, I really am."

He just nodded.  "I thought you were.  You've been acting different the last few weeks ..."  Wait, did he just say weeks?  I had only really gotten suspicious the last few days.  But of course, why was I surprised?  That boy is the most aware human being I have ever met.

After explaining how different I'd been recently, he finished with, "This will be good.  Really.  Not what we had in mind, but I'm happy about it."

I don't know if he was serious or not, but wow what a relief to hear.  If Mark really believed that, then I wouldn't be afraid for our future.

The more we talked, I found out that Mark happened to have record-breaking weeks at the office the past three weeks in a row; things really felt like they were moving over there, so he was feeling confident.

We had a little money already building in our recently-drained bank account, but then came our tax return (possibly our last, now that we are small-business owners).  It happened to be just a couple hundred dollars more than the fee for the Birth Center I wanted to have our baby at.

I was able to pay the midwife in full at my first appointment, without ever feeling the pinch of it.

This baby is meant to come to us now.

TOTALLY misspelled "faint".  It's killing me.

I told my family at my birthday.  I wrapped a present for myself, addressed it "To: Allie From: Heaven".  Inside I packed a baby blanket and maternity jeans.

My family went crazy.  (I still have the only grandchildren ... which is actually starting to get old.  I really need my sister to hop on board this baby train with me!)

Then a few weeks later, I sent out a mass email to the Gunns containing the above pictures, with the subject line, "#24".

Yes, that is the number of grandchildren the Gunn family will soon have, come this November!

Everyone has been so excited, so supportive ... I'm not going to lie.  I'm really looking forward to the arrival of our lucky number 3.